Just in case you're not convinced that one person can make that
much of difference in the mood and emotions of a group, have you ever been to a
party that just wasn’t happening; not much energy, no one having a very good
time, and then suddenly someone walks in and the party lights up? And on
the flipside, have you ever been to a party that just wasn't’ happening; not
much energy, no one having a very good time.
Then suddenly someone leaves and the party lights up! As a colleague of mine says, “It's your
choice, you can be a headlight or a tail light!”
It’s our connection to one another, our common link to the field
around us that makes this experience possible. This connection to one another
and the field is impacted by subtle energy—like our mood—or to more obvious
energy—like the words and tone of voice that comes out of our mouths.
Maya Angelou once said that words become the energy that fills a
room, home, an environment and then, our beings. She described how words stick to the walls,
the furniture, and even our clothing. It
is for this reason that she is very particular about who is welcome in her home
and what kinds of conversations she allows in her presence.
What kind of energy do you bring to your home, office, or environment?
Do you want to be a headlight or a tail light?
I have a recent example. Last month, I led a day-long program on Integrative Law. At first, I was the energetic leader, creating a fun party for everyone. After lunch, I could see that the folks in the back corner were not as lit up as the rest. During the next exercise, I walked around the room, listening to each table, injecting them with some positive comments. I got to the back corner and there was a dark cloud. From their faces, I could see that no one at that table was having fun. I found that there was a woman at the table who was negative about everything. When I encouraged her to explore the exercise, she said I was advocating malpractice. She wasn't bold enough to raise her hand and publicly challenge the content. No, she was sitting against the wall, at the back table, muttering, interrupting her classmates and keeping them from full participation, raining on the parades of everyone within ear shot. I finished the day but I was working harder than I had before, trying to overcome her negativity. The evaluations were all positive except one. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who wrote the bad evaluation.
ReplyDeleteKIm, Great example! It's also a good example of how positive comments or great questions can totally change the energy of a group--unless there is someone who is committed to being negative!
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